Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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