She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
