I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
