Fine. I'll sleep in my office
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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