i don't like sucking hair
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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