Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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