it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
