Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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