Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
