Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize