At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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