I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
