currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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