i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
