Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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