Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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