I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
