The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
