just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Congratulations! We have a period
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
