I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
