I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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