My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
