When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
