So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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