4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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