Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize