Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
