I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
