Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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