I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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