hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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