I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
