Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
