I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
