Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
