i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
