it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
