Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
