I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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