I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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