My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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