Please, let me fuck your mom
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i believe in u and ur pee
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize