I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
where does the pee come out of this thing
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
