so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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