Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
