so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
