You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
