honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
