Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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