if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize