well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
