You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
