dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
