whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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