At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
