But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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