You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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