Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.

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(805): View more from California

we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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(913): View more from Kansas

She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

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(315): View more from New York

You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea

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(330): View more from Ohio

FUCK WHALES

Fav 1 11 25
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