For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
