did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
