found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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