My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize