just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
