a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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