You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
