She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
