oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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