So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you would pick up someone in the library
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
