Just took my morning after pill in the library
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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