NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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