Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
