Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Welp...herpes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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